We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
