areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
