if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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