that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
