8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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