I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
