my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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