My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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