If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
