Kareoke will never be a sober sport
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
