you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize