Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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