i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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