I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
