i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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