I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
