i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
