fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Barsexuality is the new black.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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