I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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