i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
