my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
