cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im having a threesome with these popsicles
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
