I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
