Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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