I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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