Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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