dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
