while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
