Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
