dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
