i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
