I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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