How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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