how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
