look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
