And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
