Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets

(1-904): View more from Florida

i wish i had your life

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(904): btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets (1-904): i wish i had your life http://tfl.nu/5ctk

Replies (33) Good night (4006) Bad night (702)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...

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(778): yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet... http://tfl.nu/488j

Replies (29) Good night (3436) Bad night (1574)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route

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(519): Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route http://tfl.nu/dfjg

Replies (6) Good night (3196) Bad night (792)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.

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(609): He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place. http://tfl.nu/k1hb

Replies (30) Good night (1416) Bad night (2036)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409

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(501): And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409 http://tfl.nu/uewi

Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (1256)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

Figured I'd get right to the point

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(215): My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up." (1-215): Figured I'd get right to the point http://tfl.nu/wgkv

Replies (8) Good night (905) Bad night (1576)
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(707): View more from California

Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!

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(707): Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down! http://tfl.nu/7qyi

Replies (12) Good night (1320) Bad night (791)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.

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(540): Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat. http://tfl.nu/hg85

Replies (4) Good night (2096) Bad night (612)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.

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(732): Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train. http://tfl.nu/hytn

Replies (4) Good night (948) Bad night (475)
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(708): View more from Illinois

i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???

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(708): i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal??? http://tfl.nu/az75

Replies (6) Good night (1263) Bad night (662)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?

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(508): Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit? http://tfl.nu/74kz

Replies (7) Good night (914) Bad night (614)
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(512): View more from Texas

Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!

(1-512): View more from Texas

Did she say Ok?

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(512): Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA! (1-512): Did she say Ok? http://tfl.nu/jji5

Replies (8) Good night (2301) Bad night (733)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink

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(402): I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink http://tfl.nu/3wto

Replies (8) Good night (972) Bad night (384)
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(831): View more from California

I won't be able to get a boner for a month

(916): View more from California

Challenge accepted.

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(831): I won't be able to get a boner for a month (916): Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/ivke

Replies (3) Good night (1343) Bad night (397)
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(314): View more from Missouri

He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?

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(314): He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left. (1-314): So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home? http://tfl.nu/r5sj

Replies (5) Good night (785) Bad night (313)

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