My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.