Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
