We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
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Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
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You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"