Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much http://tfl.nu/5lxi
  Replies (7) Good night (2544) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one. http://tfl.nu/zdto
  Replies (45) Good night (5354) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table. http://tfl.nu/g0qe
  Replies (10) Good night (3757) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what if every blade of grass was a penis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): what if every blade of grass was a penis? http://tfl.nu/ka1d
  Replies (34) Good night (4363) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis http://tfl.nu/8wlo
  Replies (8) Good night (4288) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight? http://tfl.nu/82sl
  Replies (73) Good night (9956) Bad night (2375)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox. http://tfl.nu/ld2z
  Replies (2) Good night (2570) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked. http://tfl.nu/awm7
  Replies (12) Good night (3523) Bad night (1807)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Lmao sorry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule (856): Lmao sorry http://tfl.nu/mr80
  Replies (2) Good night (2162) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid. http://tfl.nu/8q4l
  Replies (8) Good night (2386) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go. http://tfl.nu/c4rz
  Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me http://tfl.nu/whcm
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (276): I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control. http://tfl.nu/jas4
  Replies (4) Good night (753) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text? http://tfl.nu/s4pf
  Replies (3) Good night (565) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere. http://tfl.nu/0401
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (210)

Randomize