i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
my liver is dry heaving
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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