You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize