This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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