I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
