Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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