This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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