so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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