At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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