11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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