And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
