No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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