she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
