All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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