Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize