It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
