i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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