So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
