so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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