Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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