All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
