It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I FOUND THE LEGS
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
