There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
