I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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