8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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