i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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