I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
