we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
