You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
