he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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