Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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